On Blogging

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Ahh. Where to start?

So the daily challenge on Word Press is to change your narrative style. Well, I’ve been doing this for a bout a week. So… what about that writing that’s actually a real habit? There, least in terms of every day stuff, like the novel I am working on, I already have.

Usually, I write my novels in third person omniscient or something similar. This time, for NaNo, I wrote a novel in the first person singular.  However, I’m not really sure if novels count.

The blog I usually use a first person style though my topics are usually about things other than myself, so… maybe first person textbook?  I’m not sure what to call it, really, because it has been too long since I cracked my Little, Brown Book, or any of my Style references.

It is said that I should write about blogging, about what it’s like or what my experience of it is or something similar.  Well, being new at all this, it’s kind of like having a new addiction.  It’s fun, you think of it in the middle of the night, you worry that you are doing it wrong, and you wonder exactly what it is that might interest other people in it. I’m also annoyed about the idea/impetus of self-promotion, so you can imagine that there is a bit of self-doubt in there somewhere.  I also find myself taking pictures of my cooking projects for no apparent reason, even when I don’t actually blog about them.  So, let’s look at that.

Margo gets up in the morning. Goes downstairs. Wonders if she should blog about gluten-free hot breakfast cereal and how to cook it properly in the microwave. She considers this as she puts the cereal/water in the microwave, blithely ignoring the cats mewling at her to be fed. Then she sings to the big orange cat, who harbors a delusion that the cat carrier is a magnificent magic box where food falls from the sky. He gets excited and runs at full tilt, dashing into it’s depths. After all, in order to fit him, it is sized for a small-to-medium sized dog.

Margo sings and drops cat treats through the top grate, and they plunk plunk plunk all over his head and upper torso. He gleefully devours them as the Scooter charges past Margo as she heads back to the kitchen. Even she is at a full dash because the cereal in the microwave is about to overflow. She wonders if she even knows enough about heating hot cereal in the microwave to be considered an expert. The little black kitty dashes in front of Margo’s legs, hoping to kill her on her way to the fridge to get the soft food. Maybe Margo will taste better than the dry food in the bowl. Or maybe it will make Margo get the soft food faster.

Margo, despite thinking at least three different things (1. the blog  2. the process of optimal texture creation for hot cereal 3. the Morning Cat Procedure 4. is that noise the Husband getting up, or a burglar inexplicably trying to steal cat litter? 5. Can Margo juggle five thoughts at once?)  Manages to stumble her way around the modest black obstruction who is inexplicably purring for having been so near death. Margo dismisses the burglar hypothesis and tells her limbic system to take a chill pill.  She notes that the microwave is not piled with steaming bubbly glue that would have been her breakfast, but the medium sized bowl she used will indeed, be crusted with organic concrete almost as soon as she is ready to eat. Only a little bit dribbled out on the side, so she takes the wet paper towel and thinks a small homily for a dead tree.

Then she considers the texture of her breakfast. She  walks to the fridge, with the little ball of fluff now leaning hard against her leg, purring and nipping the hem of her night gown.  She uses the side of her foot to scoot the Scooter out of the way, then opens the fridge and pulls out the flax seed, the almond milk, the cherry syrup, and a can of catfood with a plastic lid.  She grabs a fork and scoops out the food into the kitty bowl.  The yowling increases, and Margo encourages it with a little taunting.  She then sets down the properly textured and fortified soft food in front of the imperious creature, wondering briefly if by feeding her cat before herself, is she is sending the go signal for feline world domination.

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Click to see the nearly naked hot cereal full size

Then she pulls out her camera,  snaps a pic of her current hot cereal, noting how creamy it is, even with out additives. She grinds the flax, pulls out the protein powder, chops some kale, and adds all of it in to the bowl, including the properly measured cherry juice concentrate and some mimicreme.  She stirs it up together, greets Husband who has come downstairs for a hug (on way to work) and notes just how incredibly unappetizing her cereal looks with all it’s toppings   Margo reconsiders the breakfast cereal article, figuring that most people who can feed themselves in this day and age probably know how to use their microwave.

She then treks her way back to where the the Orange One is waiting patiently in his Magic Box, and she sprinkles a few more treats as kitty goes nuts. Scooter is waiting near by, hoping to pounce on the moron who thinks that confinement is a good thing.

Then, Margo takes her hard won cereal to a cat-free location to consume and possibly start typing once finished eating.  Thus completes the first musings on blogging of the day.

[insert eating, shower, dressing, and other mundane tasks here]

Margo sits at the computer on her desk, staring at the ever-changing screen saver, hypnotized.  She thinks about what to write. A review of Argo, the movie she just saw? We could call it “Last Gasp Cinema”! That’s a catchy title! Yeah, but everyone has seen it already… who reads movie reviews for a retrospective?

Well, people only read my food blog articles. We could do another one of those! Yeah, but I did that yesterday. Besides, no one is reading it today. No one has even looked in two days!  Well… here’s a thought. You could complain about people not reading your blog and only loving  you for your food!  Yeah, that’s great. Be the whiner, Margo! Next!

Margo peruses the “daily blog challenge”, and feels… distinctly underwhelmed.  Didn’t I just do this? She thinks.  She starts typing, not really thinking about what she’s going to do next, because ultimately the only reason why people read blogs is to get to know someone. And. generally speaking, if they want to get to know an imaginary someone, they will read a book.

And… thus, you have what you see before you. A meta-post!

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2 thoughts on “On Blogging

  1. “After all, in order to fit him, it is sized for a small-to-medium sized dog.”

    Ya gotta remember, here, that what we’re talking about is not so much a very large felis domesticus, as a very small South China Tiger. 🙂

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