More Kale Smoothie-ness

Heuchera ‘Berry Smoothie’
By Andy Mabbett (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Ok. Last we spoke I discussed a whopping 3.5 oz of kale in a smoothie. This makes for a pretty fibrous sort of drink, and only really usable if you are going to strain off the “excess” fiber. You do get a great infusion of kale goodness– something along the lines of a huge shot of wheat-grass , only with kale instead.

However, I’ve discovered, (as one who does not want to get rid of the fiber) that 2 oz is really a better number. It also means that you don’t need a fantastic blender, or even a reasonably good workhorse of a blender to reduce your kale to a (reasonably) uniform slurry. It DOES help, though.  I don’t know if those “blend-in-go” type blenders are strong enough (my brother swears by them) to handle that much kale, but I do know that it goes up to the 4 cup marker on my blender at a reasonably loose pack. This with a pretty tight shred– say sliced in about 1/8 of an inch cuts.

That goes with two cups of coconut water, 1/4 cup of carrot juice, 1 teaspoon of cherry juice, and optionally a 30 mg scoop (say two tablespoons) of protein powder… or one serving if your favorite is less or more than that.

This makes a respectable smoothie that is not too sweet, doesn’t  taste like suck, and comes out pretty smooth, all things considered.  It is even an attractive shade of spring green with the protein powder. (Sorry, I was not ready with the camera this morning. I will post it later if you’d like)  I’ve also added a tablespoon of ground flax to this to give it a little more body– but you might want to pre-soak it in a little warm water to get rid of the grit.

You may add the sweetener of your choice, or more cherry syrup. Normal people might appreciate a 1/2 tablespoon of cherry goodness instead. I find that a hit of Frangelico ( 1 dash, or two teaspoons if you are feeling like measuring)  really makes it pop, but I am a little strange.

If your blender is still having problems, you can always toss the kale in a food processor then dump it back into the blender to be reduced into something resembling a beverage.

Also, I mentioned being on mega-doses of Vitamin C.  I can handle this on my delicate stomach, because I take the C in a liquid form. There are a number of ways to do this, not the worst idea comes from NOW in the form of Efferves-C.

The only issue is that the label exhorts you to only take it twice a day. I have done this out of desperation, but sleep that night isn’t so great.  (That could be just me).  Most people can probably just pop the pills and be done with it, but I have trouble with digestion in many ways, so I use straight vitamin C powder which I dump into water and chug it up.  I admit, this is not entirely pleasant.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. You can make the experince a bit better by adding it to other things. Carrot juice, for example, does make for a better life, as well as the Cherry juice. I add both (1/4  Cup of carrot and 1 tbs of Cherry respectively) to 2 cups of water and viola! A pleasant drink that loads me with C and helps with absorption and gives my arthritis what-for!  What more could you want?

You can, instead of cherry juice, use Goji berry juice instead, which has an even lower glycemic impact than the cherry does. If worse comes to worse, lime juice even adds something to make it more palatable, and weirdly doesn’t make it even more tart than it already is.  And, there’s always adding your favorite sweetener to bridge the gap if you can’t get it to where you want it.

I tend to re-use my Zico coconut water containers to make up this serving.  Don’t worry too much about the bacteria– I only reuse it for one day, and I condition the plastic with white vinegar after every use, which takes care of mold and most common bacteria.  Tooth brushes are also good for scrubbing lids and whatnot– getting into those tight crevices where nasties can hide and cause mischief.


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