A Letter To A Daughter Who Was Never Born


Who are you? You are your Father’s daughter.

Whatever you experience, remember who you are. Whatever you see, remember who you are. Whatever you suffer, remember who you are.

You are not your sufferings. You are not your feelings. You aren’t even your urges. You are not your wants, needs or situations. We have wandered into a land of confusion, where all the things that we see in ourselves, the things we bring into ourselves, are confused with who we are.

You are not your sexual orientation. You are not your race. You are not your family. You are not your age or history. You are not pain or mourning or sickness or lack. You are not a poison. You are not your sin. You are not God– or Satan. The things that you are steeped in, are just things. What we think are just thoughts. What we entertain are just ideas. You are a person. You are free. You are a child of God, born from Love. Even if your parents hated you—wanted you dead, it does not matter. That they hated you– they hated Him first. You were not born of their love, but out of the love that God has for you- and only you- all the days of your life. Are you going to die? Yes. Today, tomorrow, next week, next year, or in twenty, each of these things does not make it less so.

Even those who were not born are loved. Because they were the seed of possibility, a hint, a call to greater things. They, ruined and cut off before their time, are still persons. If not here, they will be loved and healed in Heaven.

The grotesque, the disgusting, the hard, the painful, the starving, are the things that hold contrast to what is Love, what is desired, to what is needed. They are the road signs that point to Love. You know that love is there because they hurt. If they did not hurt, Love would be absent, a concept never known.

Without Love, all desire is mutual exploitation or a means to an end. Such a life is not worth living. To accept love is to accept pain, to accept difficulty, and to accept life as it is. To accept love is to accept sacrifice, to accept responsibility beyond yourself. Without love, despair is inevitable in this world we live in. Why? Because pleasure will not lead you. All the intensity and action in the world will not sate the seemingly endless need. It cannot. Physics will not satisfy all. It is marvelous, it is complex, it is vast, but it is imperfect.

Things will not help you, or satisfy an iota of your longing. They are gone in a moment, by the ravages of time or the will of another. Other people are only human. They fall, they break, they hurt, they give up. Only in a flawed universe– a place that always disappoints us– do we see that we cannot rely on a full belly and a happy tingle. Even when we know we are being lied to, we still fall for it. Why? Because we want it to be so. We want to live with God and everything we desire forever. That is all that we want. It is the first secret to understanding who we are.

It’s not a cruel mistake, but our destiny. We know perfection in our bones, even if we have never touched it. Perfection –in this life– is in the realm of maths, and other inevitable but invisible objects, which materialists yet deny exist. Only without them can you deny God and yet hold reason. They have yet to explain why reason is meaningful, or possible.

The knowledge of the immaterial is the only way to have freedom. Even immaterial objects have a price tag. Only one price tag is ever worth the cost. Love is the first immaterial object handed down to man. The others we had to discover, carve from the substrate of our wisdom, while blinded by the crudeness of our limitations. In this way, they are all gifts to be treasured. Even those freely given must constantly be defended, because immaterial objects are subject to apparent rot by wills and desires– or deliberate manipulation. Everyone, failing to be with God, wants to be God, and the only way to do that is to lie.

The only way to fight deception, ignore lies, and stand strong against unreason is to have Truth. The only Truth that we can trust must come from Him who Loves us. The only love we can trust is from God, therefore the only Truth we can trust comes from Him. And His Truth is that we are His Children, that Reality is Real, and the pursuit of  Love is the only satisfying purpose in life.

Ramon Casas i Carbó [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Ramon Casas i Carbó [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons


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